Before she got married shortly before turning 30, Taichung-native Christy Sung probably never imagined she would have seven children.

In fact, the idea that any mother would give birth to seven children in today’s Taiwan might seem like some improbable legend, given that the country’s fertility rate fell below 1 in 2020 and 2021. 

But her family’s story more closely resembles a fairy tale, featuring a single-family house in a hilly part of Xihu District in Miaoli County with a big grass yard, some noisy hens, and swings made of old tires. It is home to seven girls, the oldest 14 years old, the youngest still an infant.

(Source: Chien-Tong Wang)

At the heart of this tale are strong values, focused on family, respect for others, and a lifestyle that prizes togetherness, all ingrained in the children by their parents, Sung and Stephen Kurkinen, an American from Oregon.

That lifestyle becomes apparent as soon as visitors enter the house. They are welcomed by the couple’s 5-year-old daughter, who asks them how they’re doing and how the drive over was. 

At 11 a.m., Kurkinen pulls out a small oven to prepare lunch. Children under 7 are still playing, while those 7 and older join their mother in the kitchen to cut vegetables, wash dishes, heat up some soup, and set the table. Each of them has their defined role. 

At lunch, the six older children sit around the rectangular table in groups of two, with each of the three older sisters responsible for one of the younger ones. The 3- and 5-year-olds are well-behaved, showing no interest in playing with their food or making noise. The meal starts after the family says grace.

The education the children receive from their parents stands out at the dining table. Sung explained, for example, that the children know not to leave food on their plates because if they do, it will have to be finished before they can start on their next freshly made meal.

As a result, nothing goes to waste.

(Source: Chien-Tong Wang)

At the same time, snacks are generally not an option, so “the girls know that if they don’t eat now, they’ll have to wait until the next meal,” Sung said.

Every meal in this big family is a collaborative effort, made possible because the children are encouraged to cook and take part in household chores.

Particularly noteworthy in this digital age are the limited number of consumer electronic devices around the house, other than those needed for work. If any of the children want to go online, they have to first explain why, such as wanting to watch a DIY video, and their time on the internet is limited.

“I hope they come to see the internet as a tool rather than as a way to pass the time,” Sung said, adding that without the lure of electronic devices, her children are far more inclined to treat cooking as an interesting pastime. 

Wanting a big family

The couple’s courage to have seven children stemmed from their own family backgrounds and beliefs. Kurkinen was born into a close-knit family of seven children, leaving him yearning for a big family of his own.

He studied Chinese in college and, captivated by the story of 19th-century missionary Hudson Taylor’s efforts in China, traveled to Taiwan after graduating. While working in a church, he met Sung, and it was love at first sight.

(Source: Chien-Tong Wang)

After being together for a year, marriage was on their minds. They approached the decision rationally, making clear their expectations of each other. One of them was Kurkinen’s desire for a big family. 

“At the time, it was a mental barrier for me, wondering why I should give birth to so many children. It seemed like it would be very hard,” recalls Sung, who despite growing up in a scholarly family with three other brothers and sisters still had reservations about raising a big family. After talking to other families with many children, however, she felt their strong bonds of love and gradually came around to Kurkinen’s way of thinking. 

Opting for home-schooling

A critical facet of their family life has been the couple’s decision to home-school all of their children.

Before getting married, Kurkinen and Sung noticed that the children of friends who embraced home-schooling had good relationships with their families and were willing to talk to people of any age because they were not constrained by the grade structure of the educational system. That informed their decision to opt for home-schooling themselves, with Kurkinen teaching his children English and Sung teaching them Mandarin.

Asked if they were worried their children would not be competitive in modern society, Kurkinen said: “Everybody is playing that game. We’ve decided not to take part.”

In his mind, he has been far more concerned about how his children relate to others than on getting them into a good university so they could earn enough to buy a house and a car. 

The couple spend a lot of time helping their girls develop character and nurturing their ability to handle disputes and whatever situations life throws at them. They are also taught to be grateful to others and not complain when things do not go their way.

Sung said that when her children complain or act up, she does not bow to their whims. Instead, she holds back certain privileges to get them to understand that complaining or being stubborn will not be rewarded. When the children show gratitude to others, on the other hand, they get complimented.

(Source: Chien-Tong Wang)

Even more importantly, the couple practice what they preach and serve as role models, often thanking others for their help or efforts.

Friend of the family and dentist Chuo Yi-cheng recalled one occasion when Kurkinen and his wife wanted to celebrate their anniversary and left their six children with him. To the surprise of Chuo and his wife, the girls never made a fuss and were more than happy to help with preparing dinner. 

“My wife even said that if all children were so well-behaved, she’d be willing to have more of them,” Chuo said with a chuckle. 

Companionship trumps making money

In material terms, the family is anything but wealthy.

When they got married, Kurkinen and Sung agreed that he would work and she would be a stay-at-home mom. The family has since lived off of Kurkinen’s income first as an English teacher and then, starting last year, as a full-time YouTuber (his channel is “老外爸爸”) presenting aspects of his family’s life and offering insight on how to be a good father. 

To keep the family’s expenses in line, they rent a single-family house in the rural Xihu District of Miaoli County for NT$10,000 a month, Sung makes some of the girls’ clothes, and they get their eggs from the hens they raise. 

(Source: Chien-Tong Wang)

This simple life, which effectively provides for the family’s material needs, is a product of the Kurkinen and Sung’s values; they would rather earn less than sacrifice time with their children. 

“A principle of mine is that I won’t go too far from home to work,” Kurkinen said, insisting that a father’s role in the family is important because a father who loves his wife and children is critical to their happiness and growth.

There are of course times when the children want to buy things the family cannot afford, in which case Sung tells them: “If you want all the things that others have, I’d have to go to work, but I think being with you is just too important.”

Sung was trained as a nurse, and one wonders if she has any regrets over giving up a career. She indicates with confidence that watching her children grow up healthy and happy has been rewarding enough. 

After all, she says, “What job could be better than that?”

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Translated by Luke Sabatier
Uploaded by Ian Huang