It was about my one-year-old birthday when I first met Duwi. At that time, my parents were so busy that they decided to employ a nanny for the three children.

For a memorable period, every day I began my days by seeing Duwi. She used to carry me to the chair, let me put the milk powder before she added boiled water, braid my hair, take me to the park, secretly buy me the jammed marshmallow which my parents never allow me to have too much, even teach me her mother tone and the folk rhymes ... for me, there’s no doubt that her role is more than a nanny, instead, like my second mother. As long as I have Duwi by my side, I feel at ease, more than at ease.

One day she came back from vacation, bringing me a teddy bear as my four-year-old birthday present. Under extreme happiness, I held the bear jumping and yelling around, showing my thanks to her in a toddler behavior.

Yet the happiness did not last long. A week later, I woke up in a really unusual scene. My parents were at home, but Duwi was missing. Trying to find her, I walked all over the house but failed.

At first, I thought she was probably shopping for groceries outside and simply returned late. However, reality hit me heavily. Duwi had gone back to her home country, Indo, as her work contract was expired. 

Try not to make me sad until the very last moment, Duwi asked my parents to keep the news secret from me and went home silently.

Upon understanding the whole story, I rushed into my room, holding the teddy bear tightly and wailing out loud, how could she leave without a word? We had been accompanying each other for four years, her leaving is like taking away one part of me.

Every aspect of my daily life has her, she was my best friend, my partner who knows me the best, and even like my second mother, how could she just go like that...

Eventually I fell asleep in my parents’ arms after crying at the top of lungs. Waking up some time later, I found the teddy bear was covered with a piece cloth of her. Beside the bear, there was a hand-written note, 我愛你 - “I love you.”

Until now, the teddy bear has been with me for fifteen years. All these years, I completely lost contact with Duwi. Yet I never forget her, sometimes things about her come across my dreams. We meet again and again at nights but whenever the sun rises again, the fact that we couldn’t meet in person always leaves me more melancholic.

I just wonder, if she thinks about me too?

Hopefully she is happy as she used to be somewhere in the world.

Oh - I dare not to expect much -  but may one day, if a miracle does happen, I would love to tell her with the words she taught me: "Aku cinta kamu."

This is an article I wrote earlier this year. After finishing the above part, I cried a lot and eager to hear from Duwi, even though the only two clues I have are her name and my teddy bear.

Trying to recall her face, I rummaged through my home with my family during the New Year holidays and, thankfully, found out one picture of me and her.

Surely I know how difficult the task is. After fifteen years, looking for a person in a large population of 7.8 billion, it’s nothing but looking for a needle in a haystack.

But I want to give it a try. I want to know if she is doing well there. And, if it’s possible, may we meet with each other again.

Postscript: An unexpected reunion on Mother's Day

Morning, I had a sweet dream last night on Mother’s Day.

On the more than beautiful Sunday, I called my mom and grandmas on different sides, moreover, eventually reunited with my Indo mom Duwi who I have been thinking of for weeks via communication app.

Looking back three weeks ago when I decided to put the idea into practice, I still feel more than incredible. During those times, I was noticeably anxious.

Even though the news about COVID-19 spreading got me into panic, I was still hesitating to take this step. No the assurance was given that the post would be seen, that my text can be translated into Indonesian properly, that there’s a chance for the information to be shared, that I could handle my exams well simultaneously… Yet deep in my heart was a hidden fear, would the epidemic wait for me?

Therefore, I considered the question, which I always ask myself when hesitate, “will there be any regrets if I quit?” “If I just stop looking for Duwi, will I hold any regret in the rest of my life?”
“Definitely!” the voice in my mind responded loudly without any delay.

So I acted. I dared not to wait until everything becomes too late, only to find I didn't even work for it... (Click here to read the full article)

Translated by Eunice Huang
Uploaded by Judy Lu

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